Category Archives: Advice

Does Race Matter? It Does (Unfortunately)

It really shouldn’t though.

More often than it should be, I have gents asking me what went wrong in their dating pursuits. They walk me through their processes and approaches, their “lines”, their outfits, and what have you. Of course, anyone can embellish a story to make it seem like they did no wrong, so with a few of them, I actually follow them “into the wild” if you will. What I see is immensely disappointing, but not surprising. There are many women out there who still treat men differently based on their skin color.

I touched on this in my book, and I’ll expand upon it further. There are forces in various mediums (especially media, music, and finance) who pull strings all the time to make certain races get looked at different lights. Minorities get painted in negative styles in music, movies, tv shows, and various other forms of media. Though there have been significant strides on shifting the perception, a lot of those efforts get drowned out by even more stereotypical appearances. There are people out there who are smart to see through the smokescreen, but unfortunately, there are a lot more people who happen to be susceptible to the nonsense. To take things further, there are young minority men who see these images and, wanting to so desperately belong to something bigger than them, embrace these images unto their own identity. There are a lot of women who will hold a strong resistance towards minority men in terms of actually accepting inquiries from them, a lot more stricter than from their Caucasian counterparts. This can be from what they see in the media, and even from what their parents instill in them from early age. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a favorite or form of preference in terms of attraction, but when one rules out people entirely due to skin color, you are in fact painting them as inferior, and thus instituting a form of racism.

Now, I can go on and on about this topic, but I would like to save that for another time and focus more on the observation and short-form solution. I want all men to succeed, so by these words, I’m not against any race whatsoever, and I just want there to be even footing on all accounts. For men of minority descent, I would implore you to be more attentive of the perception the media is trying to cast upon us, and go against it! For those that aren’t educated, go out and get educated! Better yourselves and your fellow man. For those that are educated, continue to pursue knowledge and strength. Help those around you and bring each other up. Take a stand and show people that you aren’t these “thuggish, violent beasts” society wants you to be known as. You as men, bring a lot more to the game than our female counterparts,  and to be dismissed for your skin color, is not something you should entertain. Take control of your representation and watch the world react in amazement!

Follow Up Messages

So it’s been popping up more and more of readers asking me questions that revolve around “I sent a message and got no response. Is it a no?” 8 out of 10 times, I see it as disrespectful to you, but ONLY if you typed up a great message that wasn’t clingy or obscene and/or crazy. 2 out of 10 times, the pursuit of yours could have genuinely been busy and missed your message in the sea of people being thirsty.

However, there has been advice columns giving out “tips” saying that women are perfectly fine ignoring people’s messages. I like to treat internet communication like in-person, face-to-face convos, so if it’s not something you can do in person, don’t do it online. It’s always comes back to you. Always. This goes for both men and women! If you’re a guy and you’re coming out of pocket, talking about “you like big dick?” off the bat, you need to kill yourself. If you’re a woman who gets a message from a guy that’s super respectful and you’re not interested, nothing wrong with just saying that. Fun fact: before I became the muscle bound gent I currently am, I was told that I was frail and stammered, or that I would speak too quietly. For a few years, I would try my pursuits, but no one wanted to speak up and I would just strike out, over and over and over again. It wasn’t until one particular woman I encountered spoke up respectfully and told me that “I didn’t seem confident; I didn’t seem like someone that could protect her if there was danger, and that she found it annoying that I’d have to repeat my words all the time.” All of this made sense. I didn’t take it as an attack, so you know what I did? I studied health and fitness. Not just for what she mentioned, but for me especially. The more I would work out, the more I gained confidence of self and mind. I then went and studied linguistics and communication. They say one of the most powerful tools in the history of man is the tongue, for those without the power of the tongue are the ones who fall by the wayside to the ones that do. The better and better I got in those aspects, I realized that I shouldn’t be intimidated, as now, I’m even the one doing the intimidation (though it’s not something I do on purpose at all). I learned a great deal all because of a woman who was bold enough to speak up. More than likely these women who are ignoring people are also getting ignored in their real life pursuits, so I’d say it’s best to just be bold and truthful. Of course, it should always be in a respectful manner; never forget that! If someone will take the time to disrespect you, then you should take it as a man, and go and do better instead of them. After all, it’s really going to be their loss, and not yours.

“Shape”

“You know what's interesting? More often than not, a man will generally be in better shape than his female counterpart. If this is the case most of the time, why should you be physically intimidated by women? ”
Troy Simera

Absolutes

“"I like to think of things in the form of absolutes. I'd rather hear a Yes or No. I'll take a Maybe if there is room for real depth or explanation. Otherwise, it's a waste of time."”
-Troy Simera

Making Money Off Of Your Advances

So let’s say you’re an entrepreneur and you have X amount of dollars. You want to buy into a business, expand your market, and grow your stock, right? Cool. You’re walking along a strip in the city and all these companies are continuously vying for your attention. “Come invest with me!” “Let’s make money together!” “We’re going to make it to the top together!” etc, etc. Big brands, mom-and-pop shops, everyone wants you to get into their action.

If you go up to a company, any company at all, and invest whatever amount you feel into it, and this company took the money and ignored you; how would you feel? Doesn’t matter if you invested $100 or $100,000. If you put money into a company and no one got back to you or even acknowledged what was spent on what or even operations, you would feel disrespected and duped, right?

Your time is your money.

The mere notion of you saying, “Hi. How are you today?” is an investment of your time. It can be frivolous (which I don’t always recommend) or it can be genuine, but regardless of the amount of investment, there should always be a return on the investment (provided you’re respectful about it). I would never advocate a guy acting like an asshole and expecting the red carpet.

If you’re non-asshole like, and you’re putting an investment, you better be looking for returns, or else, you are not in the habit of good business practices. Instead of just being frivolous with your money, learn the value of saving and proper investing. Look for opportunities where you can step and make a name for yourself. If the opportunity doesn’t present itself, you make the opportunity, so long as you don’t look like an idiot doing it. When you make more than you spend, then you my friend, are growing your stock and moving onto bigger business!

“It’s All About Comfort”

A mistake that guys make very often when talking to women or even in their approaches is that they feel it needs to be a pick-up line to it. Some game of sorts or key set of moves. WRONG, WRONG, and WRONG.

It’s all about the comfort, baby!

Pick-up lines for guys are like men wearing Stiletto Heels (if guys wore those). It’s awkward putting them on, it’s ridiculous making sure the lines are right, and it may work on some chicks, but when you fall on your face; you fall hard!

Learn to treat your conversations like a pair of New Balance sneakers. You just put them on, and go about your day! They’re so comfy, you know how great your feet feel, but you’re not even thinking about it. Just talk to them with the candor you would talk to a great friend (not necessarily the same content though – pick wisely on that one!) and once she’s comfy, watch the magic work! If you find a great woman who engages with you back and forth, you won’t even realize how effortless it was until it was over.

Muscle and Exercise Shock

There are those who exercise and there are those who don’t. For the ones who do, there are the instances when one plateaus. This could be for multiple reasons, but one of the most common ones is that they haven’t been varying their routines. If you were trying to lose weight or gain muscles, continuously doing the exercise allows your body to get used to it, and therefore, start to negate the effects. There is a thing called muscle shock where instead of the same-old same-old, you ‘shock’ your body by introducing a new routine, hence making it work actively in the process. Instead of 25 Jumping Jacks everyday, you threw in a day of situps, or another day of push-ups, etc.

This works the same for relationships, and even general communication. Never be afraid to switch it up. I’m not saying go nuts and let everything out of your mouth be random utterances. I just want you to avoid the rut at all costs. Learn about each other and what you like, but don’t be afraid to learn about new things, or refine the older interests either. ‘Shock’ your life and work their muscles.

Spend To Improve, Not To Show Off

Happy holidays to all! Make sure you guys (and gals) stay safe out this holiday. Have fun, but have fun responsibly!

Now, an occurrence I’ve seen too many guys fall victim, especially when approaching women they just met: trying to spend money on her IN THE HOPES of trying to convince her to be with you. C’MON SON!!!!

You’re definitely doing it wrong. Say you saw an attractive woman you liked. The first things out of your mouth shouldn’t be you trying to take her to a restaurant or out for a drink, etc. You are trying to buy the pussy, and in the course of it, LOWERING YOUR VALUE! What you should do is build up rapport with her. Ask her about interests, common goals, and activities AND THEN, go for an instance where the two of you can commune together. If you ask a woman out without building rapport, and she agrees to it, but after the date, she doesn’t call you back or let you get to another stage of intimacy; you can’t be mad at her. You’d have to blame yourself!

What you can get with my book (HERE) is a wealth of knowledge for a small investment of anything from $2 – $5. I’ll teach you how to know what to look for and how to compose yourself, so that you execute on your leads, and stop looking foolish out there. Help me help you!

They Don’t Want You To Win (But I Do!)” is available now!

What Would You Choose?

Would you rather work at three times the rate you were working now with no change in efficiency OR work at half the rate you’re working now, but more efficient and more successful? Would you rather be the guy working 80 hours a week to make ends meet OR the guy who works 20 hours and travels the world? You want to be the guy who is an option OR an asset?

If you want to be the formers, go on about your day. You’re content. Complacent.

However, if you prefer the latters, you need to see your dating life in these instances and drastically improve your understanding and execution! It’s easier than you think and much, much more inexpensive than what you’ve been spending. Let’s make you the asset you were meant to be with  “They Don’t Want You To Win (But I Do!)” today!

Approaches (Death To The Pick-Up Line!)

When it comes to the pick-up line, you need to drop it. Like, right now. It never wins you points because once it’s said in one place, it gets spread like wildfire everywhere else (women will tell their girlfriends what was said and they’ll their friends and on and on…)

When it comes to your approach, just proceed with confidence, make sure your presentation is solid, and be natural. A pick up line will never magically sway you from being unlikeable/layable to very likeable/layable. If she liked you or didn’t like you, the line will have no sway in that. The day an overweight, acne-face filled gent living in his parent’s garage swoons a Victoria Secret model all on the merit of one cheesy pickup, will be the day I mail you a Canadian dollar and shoot myself in the head. Just be yourself, folks.