Tag Archives: simera

Does Race Matter? It Does (Unfortunately)

It really shouldn’t though.

More often than it should be, I have gents asking me what went wrong in their dating pursuits. They walk me through their processes and approaches, their “lines”, their outfits, and what have you. Of course, anyone can embellish a story to make it seem like they did no wrong, so with a few of them, I actually follow them “into the wild” if you will. What I see is immensely disappointing, but not surprising. There are many women out there who still treat men differently based on their skin color.

I touched on this in my book, and I’ll expand upon it further. There are forces in various mediums (especially media, music, and finance) who pull strings all the time to make certain races get looked at different lights. Minorities get painted in negative styles in music, movies, tv shows, and various other forms of media. Though there have been significant strides on shifting the perception, a lot of those efforts get drowned out by even more stereotypical appearances. There are people out there who are smart to see through the smokescreen, but unfortunately, there are a lot more people who happen to be susceptible to the nonsense. To take things further, there are young minority men who see these images and, wanting to so desperately belong to something bigger than them, embrace these images unto their own identity. There are a lot of women who will hold a strong resistance towards minority men in terms of actually accepting inquiries from them, a lot more stricter than from their Caucasian counterparts. This can be from what they see in the media, and even from what their parents instill in them from early age. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a favorite or form of preference in terms of attraction, but when one rules out people entirely due to skin color, you are in fact painting them as inferior, and thus instituting a form of racism.

Now, I can go on and on about this topic, but I would like to save that for another time and focus more on the observation and short-form solution. I want all men to succeed, so by these words, I’m not against any race whatsoever, and I just want there to be even footing on all accounts. For men of minority descent, I would implore you to be more attentive of the perception the media is trying to cast upon us, and go against it! For those that aren’t educated, go out and get educated! Better yourselves and your fellow man. For those that are educated, continue to pursue knowledge and strength. Help those around you and bring each other up. Take a stand and show people that you aren’t these “thuggish, violent beasts” society wants you to be known as. You as men, bring a lot more to the game than our female counterparts,  and to be dismissed for your skin color, is not something you should entertain. Take control of your representation and watch the world react in amazement!

Follow Up Messages

So it’s been popping up more and more of readers asking me questions that revolve around “I sent a message and got no response. Is it a no?” 8 out of 10 times, I see it as disrespectful to you, but ONLY if you typed up a great message that wasn’t clingy or obscene and/or crazy. 2 out of 10 times, the pursuit of yours could have genuinely been busy and missed your message in the sea of people being thirsty.

However, there has been advice columns giving out “tips” saying that women are perfectly fine ignoring people’s messages. I like to treat internet communication like in-person, face-to-face convos, so if it’s not something you can do in person, don’t do it online. It’s always comes back to you. Always. This goes for both men and women! If you’re a guy and you’re coming out of pocket, talking about “you like big dick?” off the bat, you need to kill yourself. If you’re a woman who gets a message from a guy that’s super respectful and you’re not interested, nothing wrong with just saying that. Fun fact: before I became the muscle bound gent I currently am, I was told that I was frail and stammered, or that I would speak too quietly. For a few years, I would try my pursuits, but no one wanted to speak up and I would just strike out, over and over and over again. It wasn’t until one particular woman I encountered spoke up respectfully and told me that “I didn’t seem confident; I didn’t seem like someone that could protect her if there was danger, and that she found it annoying that I’d have to repeat my words all the time.” All of this made sense. I didn’t take it as an attack, so you know what I did? I studied health and fitness. Not just for what she mentioned, but for me especially. The more I would work out, the more I gained confidence of self and mind. I then went and studied linguistics and communication. They say one of the most powerful tools in the history of man is the tongue, for those without the power of the tongue are the ones who fall by the wayside to the ones that do. The better and better I got in those aspects, I realized that I shouldn’t be intimidated, as now, I’m even the one doing the intimidation (though it’s not something I do on purpose at all). I learned a great deal all because of a woman who was bold enough to speak up. More than likely these women who are ignoring people are also getting ignored in their real life pursuits, so I’d say it’s best to just be bold and truthful. Of course, it should always be in a respectful manner; never forget that! If someone will take the time to disrespect you, then you should take it as a man, and go and do better instead of them. After all, it’s really going to be their loss, and not yours.

Spend To Improve, Not To Show Off

Happy holidays to all! Make sure you guys (and gals) stay safe out this holiday. Have fun, but have fun responsibly!

Now, an occurrence I’ve seen too many guys fall victim, especially when approaching women they just met: trying to spend money on her IN THE HOPES of trying to convince her to be with you. C’MON SON!!!!

You’re definitely doing it wrong. Say you saw an attractive woman you liked. The first things out of your mouth shouldn’t be you trying to take her to a restaurant or out for a drink, etc. You are trying to buy the pussy, and in the course of it, LOWERING YOUR VALUE! What you should do is build up rapport with her. Ask her about interests, common goals, and activities AND THEN, go for an instance where the two of you can commune together. If you ask a woman out without building rapport, and she agrees to it, but after the date, she doesn’t call you back or let you get to another stage of intimacy; you can’t be mad at her. You’d have to blame yourself!

What you can get with my book (HERE) is a wealth of knowledge for a small investment of anything from $2 – $5. I’ll teach you how to know what to look for and how to compose yourself, so that you execute on your leads, and stop looking foolish out there. Help me help you!

“They Don’t Want You To Win (But I Do!)” is available now!

What Would You Choose?

Would you rather work at three times the rate you were working now with no change in efficiency OR work at half the rate you’re working now, but more efficient and more successful? Would you rather be the guy working 80 hours a week to make ends meet OR the guy who works 20 hours and travels the world? You want to be the guy who is an option OR an asset?

If you want to be the formers, go on about your day. You’re content. Complacent.

However, if you prefer the latters, you need to see your dating life in these instances and drastically improve your understanding and execution! It’s easier than you think and much, much more inexpensive than what you’ve been spending. Let’s make you the asset you were meant to be with  “They Don’t Want You To Win (But I Do!)” today!

Dating Is Hard? Survey Says: Not So Much

 

When I wrote this book, one of the most common ideologies about dating was that it’s hard. Too hard even. A friend of mine who contributed a great deal to this book mentioned today that she was inundated with that very sentiment all throughout the afternoon. I honestly used to feel the same way, but then I realized that it’s because I was working HARDER, instead of SMARTER. One of the things that has to be understood from the get-go is that there will almost always be more men than women when it comes to the dating pool. Due to this, women will be more picky and selective with who they engage themselves with. Sometimes, the reasons are plausible (safety, health, security), and sometimes, they are for BS reasons altogether like vanity or pride.

Instead of working harder, instead, work smarter and master your environment. Master your pursuit, or else, you will simply end up another casualty! In the book, you’ll learn how to make your pursuit work for you, instead of working towards the pursuit. Dating can be difficult for a lot of people, but pick up “They Don’t Want You To Win (But I Do)” today and learn how to become the exception to the rule!

Learn Your Wines

 

The older you get, the more it will become more commonplace where instead of beer/straight up hard liquor, you will end up in situations with wine and members of the opposite sex. Not all women are hard drinkers and given safety concerns, they won’t always drink hard liquor in front of you. Wine, on the other hand, is a crowd favorite with women of all ages and eight out of ten times, she’ll use that as the sensual icebreaker/truthteller when dealing with you.

You guys need to learn your wines. I’m not saying that you need to memorize everything from your Riesling’s to your Sauvignon Blanc’s (though it helps), you should learn how to distinguish between the qualities of Red and White wines, and what foods go great with them. You may end up knowing more than she does on the matter and impressing her, leaving her with the curiosity of what else you may know about the world. Drink responsibly, of course.

Approaches (Death To The Pick-Up Line!)

When it comes to the pick-up line, you need to drop it. Like, right now. It never wins you points because once it’s said in one place, it gets spread like wildfire everywhere else (women will tell their girlfriends what was said and they’ll their friends and on and on…)

When it comes to your approach, just proceed with confidence, make sure your presentation is solid, and be natural. A pick up line will never magically sway you from being unlikeable/layable to very likeable/layable. If she liked you or didn’t like you, the line will have no sway in that. The day an overweight, acne-face filled gent living in his parent’s garage swoons a Victoria Secret model all on the merit of one cheesy pickup, will be the day I mail you a Canadian dollar and shoot myself in the head. Just be yourself, folks.

Hey Mami!

I’m not sure if you all have seen this by now, but there was a video created for a non-profit ironically called ‘HollaBack!’, starring a Ms. Shoshana B. Roberts. The premise of said video is that Ms. Roberts walked through the streets of New York City for nearly 10 hours and was said to be harassed nearly the entire time. Upon watching this video, while there were some forms of harassment being displayed (crudeness, brash behavior, even stalking), not all of the video comprised of this. Instead, you can see that genuine and simple compliments were being directed towards her, despite her completely ignoring them. While the model was intentionally quiet and steadfast in not acknowledging them for the purpose of this project, this occurrence happens all of the time in multiple parts of the world. This video displays great examples of being “scored on” and why you should avoid getting scored on at all times. As discussed in my book, “They Don’t Want You To Win (But I Do) (available HERE), I talk to you about the importance of your Value of Interest level (VOI) and how being scored on is when someone increases their VOI at someone else’s expense. The men who were saying things like “how are you?” or “have a great day!”, but got ignored, I feel sorry for, because they didn’t know they were being filmed. They genuinely complimented her in a respectful manner. Would I get up in arms when there are women who say “Good afternoon, handsome” on a busy street? No, I don’t mind it, provided they aren’t creepy or awkward about it. I take it as an acknowledgment that I’m taking great care of my mind, body, and spirit and the Universe lets me know of my job well done.

On the flipside, in regards to the men who were actually creepy in nature, these are the kinds you want to avoid emulating. These are the guys who are frivolously reducing their VOI in reckless manners. The “see what happens” mentality that I discuss in the book that is poisonous to your progress. If not careful and in a public scene, these guys become the “Careless Grenades”. I want you to learn from this video and resolve on better approaches, looking for leads, and proper execution. Be a commodity, not a casualty!